there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
