R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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