My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
