i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
