My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
