oh god the rape fog is back!
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
