i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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