i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
