Can Purell be used as lube?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
