We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
