just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
