if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
