just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I think my moral compass just broke
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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