i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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