it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
