Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
