We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
