somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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