How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
