Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
