Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
