Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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