Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
