He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize