we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
