yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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