so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
