this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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