I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
