Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
