we have officially lost it.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
All I want is dick and wine.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
