Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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