I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just forgot I was standing up.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
