I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
