honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
