I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
