If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
