Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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