Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
