I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
