i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
