Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
