yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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