You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
