the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
