we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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