That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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