Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
