does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
