Your face is a jimmy john
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
