Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
