Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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