Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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