Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
