I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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