We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
love makes seman taste better
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
