I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
