Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
