I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
